SHUT UPPP

One of my favorite things, ever in the whole world? Stephen Baldwin in a SciFi Channel original movie. So awesomely, amazingly bad that it spins around the Circle of Awesome so much that the circle gets dizzy. I watched ten minutes of Stan Lee's Harpies and was so giddy about the delightful horribleness that I was almost dizzy. Anyway, SUNDAY! JUNE 29! 8:00PM ON THE SCIFI CHANNEL!! Stephen Baldwin in...EARTHSTORM!!!!!! Yessssss! And I'm pretty sure he has the line "Let's lock and load." EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! So cancel your plans, set your TiVo, and take a shot every time it makes you want to clap your hands because it's so bad it's AWESOME.

Edited to add: I checked it out in IMDB. Someone actually says "Avoid this movie unless you want to laugh at how awesome it is." I don't know if you noticed but I CAN'T WAIT!! EEEEEKKKK!!

PS I think my phone survived. Epic win!

You know how you get those e-mails or invites to Facebook groups that are this random desperate friend all "I lost/ruined/obliterated my cell phone and now I don't have any of your numbers! HALP!"? K well prepare to get yours from me. That is correct, suckas, as of about 11:00 this evening the combined FAIL efforts of Callison & Callison produced a Diet Coke puddle at the bottom of my purse. My iPod, camera, and wallet were all spared, though I am sad to report that my cell phone is currently on life support. No word on if it will revive itself, and if it doesn't I seem to really suck at programming numbers into my SIM card so yes, prepare yourself for the "I LOST ALL YOUR PHONE NUMBERS!" e-mail. Because if your number wasn't saved to my SIM card, I sure as hell can't call you.

If the cell phone survives the Diet Coke flood, the incident will be deemed an epic win and the 25th of June will forever go down in history as that one day when Dale and I both effed up at the same thing but none of our expensive electronics stopped working forever. However, in the event that the phone does not survive but the SIM card does, the incident will be downgraded to a fail. I realize that the camera, wallet, and iPod survived but we never leave a man behind. The incident will be downgraded to an Epic Fail if the phone does not survive and the SIM card is empty, or even mostly empty.

Please stay tuned to www.meredithcallison.blogspot.com for further details regarding this sensitive matter. This is not a test. Also trivia is tomorrow, it's gonna be epic, don't miss it! And then join the "Trivia Team of Awesome" group on Facebook. I repeat, this is not a test.

I pretty much couldn't drag myself out of bed this morning. I've been doing a lot of sleeping lately (no Kate, there's no baby) I think it's just processing a lot of what's going on in my life, etc. So I decided to take another mental health day today. Yeah that's two in just as many weeks but I'm pulling thirteen hour days from when I leave the house until when I walk back through the door and then on top of that I've got homework and the weekends are pretty jam-packed also so sleep and rest are hard to come by these days. Anyway, this morning I got up around 11:30 (hate me if you want to) and decided that I was going to make breakfast. We've had a pack of bacon in the fridge that's about to expire so I wanted to cook it and make coffee and I figured I'd cook some eggs while I was at it. RIGHT. So I've never been a master chef but I'm not a lousy cook either! Except for this morning.

I put the bacon on, started the coffee, and got out a pot for the eggs. As I'm filling the pot with water, I notice huge amounts of steam? smoke? coming out of the coffee pot. YEP. I filled the carafe and just set it back on the warmer. OOPS. No biggie, I poured the water in the reservoir and wunderbar. Slightly steamy coffee. In the meantime the bacon is still not getting hot. Apparently, one of our back burners isn't working. THANKS, Silverado. So we're essentially down to two burners because the back one doesn't work right now and one of the front ones has this weird white flaky nonsense stuck to it that looks like it makes the burner unuseable. I sure don't want to try to turn it on and then have whatever it is burn off and smell horrible and maybe kill me. It was ok though because I only needed two burners. So the bacon gets going and at some point I distract myself with coffee and when I turn back the bacon is like BLACK and about to be on fire. EEEEKKKKK!!!! Panic! Panic! Yeah, y'all, I made pretty much the equivalent to, idk, black burned toasty bacon. It was so bad that even Rygel kind of went "...?" when I offered it to him later. But my eggs (and subsequent batches of bacon) turned out ok. And now my house smells like breakfast meat. Nom.

And I wanted to call someone and tell them what I'd done but I just couldn't get past the responses I would probably get.

Dale: Rygel wouldn't eat it?! AHHH HA HA HA HA!!!
Eng: Was it worse than the time you FRIED SPAM and then wouldn't eat it?
Kate: Name it Kate. (NOT pregnant, Kate!)
Mom: ::FREAK OUT:: And then would buy me cooking classes and extra smoke detectors and a book about why it's bad to throw water on a grease fire.
Dad (the best breakfast chef in the world, btw): You're adopted.

Also, for a funny, here's a pic I found on failblog (http://www.failblog.org/) this morning. Interestingly, it appears to have come from Liberty Hill's community newspaper - AWESOME. Just read the caption under the photo more carefully than the editor did. Yay.

Person #1: Can you help me?
Person #2: What do you need?
Person #1: I can't carry this.
Person #2: You carried it this far!
Person #1: No I-
**CRASH**

Maybe you had to be there, but I heard it from inside of Dale's office and I silently cracked up for about 4 minutes straight. I don't even know who it was or what exactly happened because I never stuck my head out but it sounded messy. I'm not even sorry for getting an inordinate amount of joy out of it. I said good day!

You might know that I've had big changes in my life lately. Thanks to all that have sent your love and support. I'm just not ready to openly process what's gone on yet (at least not here on my blog), I'll be happy to talk in person or via e-mail or whatever if you want but it still feels too personal to put here on blogger. Instead, here's something I scratched down in my notebook last Friday. Please to enjoy.

So I drove to school today and because Texas State is apparently so underfunded that they can’t supply enough fuel to have more than one bus on each route in the summer (y’all suck) I parked in the LBJ garage in the interest of saving time and not having to sit/stand with The Herd in order to get to class. So I go about my day and return to the parking garage and at the pay booth, stuck to the window is a little name card for the employee. Something along the lines of “Hi, my name is Susie, How may I help you?” Exsqueeze me? How may you help me? I was under the impression that the pay booth at the parking garage only handles one thing. My car’s in there. I want it out here. I give you my money, you give me my ticket, commerce saves the day and I go home. It’s your ONE JOB and is, to my knowledge, the only way that you can help me. Unless you’re selling hot dogs out of that thing, in which case, we’ll talk. I mean it! If there’s a secret operation working out of the little booth then I don’t know about it, and therefore I cannot tell you how to help me. So it may be picky (I never said you had to like my blog, I just said you have to read my blog) but SIGN FAIL. And also KNOWING HOW TO DO YOUR JOB FAIL if I actually need to tell you how you can help me. Also, I hate you.