Arrivederci, '08.

11:16 AM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
Thanks for the memories! I don't know if you've been the worst year of my life but you definitely don't rank near the top, so sorry. I probably learned more this year than in most others, though, so that's something. And I'm looking forward to 2009. Remember, though, when the tough mean teacher was always the one you hated most but then when you look back you realize that even though the method was beyond your understanding you somehow learned more about life from that crazy person than you did from any of your nice, cuddly teachers? Maybe the analogy only translates in my crazy person brain but to me '08 was the mean teacher. I know things that I didn't know before and I honestly feel a little more capable and strong than if '08 had been a cuddly, sweet little year. So thanks for that, '08. I'm going in to 2009 with a lot of hope and a lot of excitement about change.

Now at the risk of being ridiculed for clinging to tradition:

May the new year bring
The warmth of home and hearth to you.
The cheer and goodwill of friends to you,
The hope of a childlike heart to you.
The joy of a thousand angels to you,
The love of the Son and God's peace to you.

Thanks for reading my mind this year. Love y'all.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

9:04 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
HILARIOUS! On the recommendation of several people, most of which are good friends, I finally found myself with nothing to do and ordered it on PPV. It could be because Marshall Eriksen and Kenneth The Page are two of my favorite TV characters maybe ever, but I laughed for almsot the whole movie. If you find yourself with a couple extra hours any time soon, definitely check it out, and don't judge me for loving a movie where KTP pretty much screws a giant chess piece. And lots of other weird stuff happens.

And if anybody knows where I can see a rock opera with puppets in real life PLEASE call me. I'm so excited by that idea it's not even funny.

That Thong Tha-Thong Thong Thong!

10:59 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
So you know that whole long list of weird stuff that people have done at work? Here's one I never thought would be on my list: #153: Left a thong on the floor. What? That's right. A thong. On the floor. Not in a fitting room, just right there near the front door of the store. WTF?!

OK, in the thong-dropper's defense, it was a *clean* thong and was most likely inadvertently dropped rather than tossed on our floor like we work in the "Rock of Love" house, but still. Thong. On. The. Floor. Just when I thought I'd seen it all. Even funnier was when dear Edna walked up to a group of girls and asked them if anyone dropped a thong. What a weird day! AND because I'm awesome I had to take a picture a) to prove it and b) I'm making a "FOUND" poster to canvas the shopping center with. Ok part B might be a joke. And I didn't get my camera until the thong had been moved from the floor to the evidence locker, a.k.a. the customer service desk. I think you get the general idea though. I didn't plan on this becoming a photo blog but the awesome won't stop soooo:

PS Do y'all remember the Thong Song? I've had it stuck in my head all day.

Holiday Craft Project

11:32 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
So as is the custom when a team completely destroys all competition at trivia, we brought home the trophy last week and got to add stuff to it. Turns out we're good at trivia but pretty crappy at organizing time to do creative stuff to a trophy ("I have markers." - Camden) so Dale and I wandered in to Hobby Lobby, spent four minutes(!) in the kids' crafts section, grabbed random stuff, and wandered out. Fantastic. Here are the highlights:

A shout out to Duffy and his weekly speech about "Just a reminder, there is no use of iPhones, Blackberries, schnozberries, we do have free wifi here at the Tavern but if you're Googling something, it'd better be porn!"
TToA "Googling Porn Since 2007".

Our team name won us an extra 5 points this week, so we had to commemorate it somewhere on the trophy. We're gonna be a little more hard up (TWSS) for trivia team names after January 20. It's been a good run, ol' George.

We didn't want to be too holiday-y but we had to add some jingle bells. Hopefully they'll go on to annoy other winning teams for years to come.

Mary putting the finishing touches on. Note the feathers. I thought that was a classy touch.

Annnnd the finished product! Shoes, paint pen, feathers, googly eyes, jingle bells, a button that plays "Happy Birthday" when you press it, and a Hannah Montana guitar with a pic of Cam and Duffy snuggling. It's seriously the best trophy ever. Plus it has all of our names on it, because we ARE the TToA.

Do you think we're taking this too far?
I don't think we're taking this far enough.
I just got goosebumps.

We're defending our title on Tuesday night, all suggestions for team names should be directed to the Facebook group. Aww we're nerdy but I love us.

Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

12:01 AM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »
...and a happy new year, too.


8:56 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »

Oh giant ten year old, where is thy sting? We totally redeemed ourselves at trivia this week, and it was awesome. Katie was in town, nobody quit, we had a dreidel, we won best team name ("If you can dodge the draft, you can dodge a shoe!") and we absolutely ruined the other teams, it wasn't even close. Trivia Team of Awesome, FTW! God bless us, every one!

Trail of Lights

10:57 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »

Here's what I did last night. Watch it over and over and try not to puke!

Delicious White Trash WIN!

5:46 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
Phone: Ring! Ring! Ring!
Griff: (answering the phone) What are you doing?
Griff: What?
Me: We! Are! Getting! A! Carl's! JUNIOR!!!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Austin area has gotten a little more delicious, and maybe just a wee bit more trashy: We are getting a Carl's Junior. I first discovered Carl's Junior visiting Griff at college in the Great White North (Lubbock) and from that moment on, I knew that no matter what UT had, Tech had Carl's Junior. Texas State wins the "best local food" award though, so neither school should even try. Anyway, every trip I made to Lubbock after that, the six-ish hours spent in the car to get there were all worth it because I knew that the delicious, greasy, star-shaped fast food WIN of Carl's Junior awaited me. Well, until the last trip I made up there when Griff told me that the Lubbock Carl's Junior was no more, which was also when I decided that Lubbock and I were DONE. So anyway, as sketchy as the Oklahoma connection is, I am freakin stoked. I give you:

Carl's Junior, FTW.

Another Trivia Blog...

11:22 PM Posted In , , Edit This 0 Comments »
Dear Blog,

I went to trivia with the biggest assholes tonight. We had one of the most WRONG team names ever and when Duffy announced it as a co-winner we all just kind of sat there, unwilling or unable to admit in public that it was us that came up with it. Then all hell kind of broke loose and everyone started fighting. Camden was pretty sure he knew the answer to a question so I wrote it down and suddenly everyone was screaming. They berated Camden about his answer until his only defense was to sit calmly and whimper "Please don't change it." I've never seen a man so defeated by his friends. For the record, he was right, so suck it. And Mary had a horrible day with the crazies and lost her voice. And the Tavern changed their menu and got rid of corn nuggets and also half the stuff they used to serve, including their 35-cent-wings, what the fuck? Also I quit the team. And then some smart ass had the balls to say "Don't worry, she can't quit anything!" Fuckers. Then we came in third (with 62.5 points, that's pathetic!) for the second week in a row because we're in a brain-rut and the really annoying girl who looks like a giant ten year old goes "I think we've had (the trophy) more than anyone else!" Yeah, bitch, three's a real record. And eventually I was lured back onto the team when they needed to know the name of the Grinch's dog. Those people can be so sneaky. I love them.



4:29 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
So this is mainly for Griff who said a) that I needed to write a blog today, and b) that she didn't see The Soup(!) last week. It is, however, also for anybody who appreciates The Soup, All My Children (don't lie, you know you're out there!), and thongs (who doesn't?). And so, as Joel McHale might say: Please to enjoy.

Go Navy, beat Army.


9:37 PM Posted In , , Edit This 3 Comments »
So I'm standing in line at Best Buy, buying birthday presents for my mom ("Snakes on a Plane" was on sale! Um and also season 1 of 30 Rock because I'm the best daughter) and because Mom happens to have been born between Thanksgiving and Christmas there were a bajillion people doing their shopping. So I wander over to the long checkout line where they only have two cash registers open and am waiting, as I do. Then, in accordance with my luck in checkout lines, the people in front of me start having all kinds of problems. An elderly lady was having a hard time remembering how to write a check at one register and at the other the cashier just kept on pushing a bunch of buttons and finally stepped back from the machine and goes "It locked me out." at which point I laughed hysterically because CASH REGISTER FTW! Anyway, then they decided to open up a third register. Great! At this point I was about third in line. The cashier at the newly-opened register called for the next person in line, so the first guy wandered over there and then: LINE CUTTER!!! The new register they opened happened to be behind the start of the checkout line, and the lady BEHIND me and another person decided it would be socially appropriate to hop out of line and just go stand behind the person getting checked out at the newly opened register. WTF?! Annoying! I mean, the two other open registers weren't doing a whole lot to get the line moving so her rushing over to the third one was pretty much like saying "SEE YOU LATER, SUCKAS!" to those of us who frown upon cutting in line. Plus she had her kid with her. Great parenting (DRINK)! In case my explanation wasn't clear, here's a visual:

Have a nice, line-cutting-free day!

Guest Blogger

11:35 PM Posted In , Edit This 1 Comment »
So I went to trivia tonight, wouldn't shut up about my blog (it is an awesome resource for entertainment and interesting bits of random information), and then was told by everyone there that I would go home and write about trivia. Unfortunately, every time I try to write about trivia I end up with this crazy writer's block. It's not that there's not tons of blog fodder flying around at trivia (it's rampant), it's just really hard to explain WHY some of that stuff is funny. And so tonight, you have a guest-blogger. This is my night at trivia, according to Camden. Enjoy!

ME: I was gonna write a blog about trivia but I can't come up with anything good. Sorry to disappoint!

CAMDEN: Dear blog,
I went to trivia with the biggest assholes tonight. One of them kept saying he knew Simpsons trivia, but I really knew all of them. Also, for some reason, we sat at the pool table. And didn't win the best team name. I may never go again. Or maybe next week. Next week sounds good.

And for the record, the a-hole who is supposed to be our resident Simpsons expert? Mr. Camden Gilman. A.K.A. Armin Tamzarian. And I did totally kick his ass at Simpsons trivia tonight. Sucka.


7:52 AM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
IDK if anybody reads John Kelso's grumpy, hilarious, and accurate rants in the Statesman or at, BUT he wrote some pretty insightful awesomeness yesterday and I couldn't help but pass it on. Fair warning: those who are still in shock and/or on a murderous rampage as a result of the Big 12 South standings should maybe chill a while before reading. Anyway, I give you: BCS declares Motel 6 top U.S. hotel, names McCain Time's Man of the Year.

Remember This???

1:03 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCE! EEEEEEEE! Ha ha ha. Also: "Don't fear us, cheer us, if you ever get near us, don't jeer us, we're fearless..." Awesome. Enjoy!