SHUT UPPP

How has this happened?! I caught "Chopped" on the Food Network on Tuesday night, and WTF??? Ted Allen, my favorite sort-of-judge from "Top Chef", is now hosting this debacle that is not only a terrible idea but the least exciting cooking show ever. Apparently the premise is that four chefs are supposed to cook a three-course meal but the twist is that they have to incorporate ingredients (four, I think) from a Mystery Box for each course. I totally remember that challenge from Season Two of "Top Chef"! Elia's "lovely American cheese product", aw. But "Top Chef" this is not. With four contenders and only sixty minutes you don't even get the chance to give a rat's ass about any of these people. Then they boringly-yet-overdramatically present their dishes to the pompous chef/restaurant-owner panel, who apparently have a clause in their contracts that never allow them to give a positive remark about anything with the chefs in the room. This show is such a downer! WHY am I watching it?! Anyway, so the chefs are offed (or "Chopped", get it?) one by one and ultimately one...wins? Meh. Even Dale, who has rather indiscriminate taste when it comes to TV, said "I don't know if 'Chopped' is gonna make it, this is pretty bad!" And he's right. I just hate to see Ted Allen going down with it. It's not his fault that someone makes him robotically declare "YOU HAVE BEEN CHOPPED!" to each ousted contender, although I do kind of blame him for this weird kind of bouncy delivery of every line that he's developed since his blaze of awesome on "Top Chef". Boo.
Dear Food Network,
Please don't kill Ted Allen's career. Kthx.
- Mere.