SHUT UPPP

So you know that whole long list of weird stuff that people have done at work? Here's one I never thought would be on my list: #153: Left a thong on the floor. What? That's right. A thong. On the floor. Not in a fitting room, just right there near the front door of the store. WTF?!

OK, in the thong-dropper's defense, it was a *clean* thong and was most likely inadvertently dropped rather than tossed on our floor like we work in the "Rock of Love" house, but still. Thong. On. The. Floor. Just when I thought I'd seen it all. Even funnier was when dear Edna walked up to a group of girls and asked them if anyone dropped a thong. What a weird day! AND because I'm awesome I had to take a picture a) to prove it and b) I'm making a "FOUND" poster to canvas the shopping center with. Ok part B might be a joke. And I didn't get my camera until the thong had been moved from the floor to the evidence locker, a.k.a. the customer service desk. I think you get the general idea though. I didn't plan on this becoming a photo blog but the awesome won't stop soooo:


PS Do y'all remember the Thong Song? I've had it stuck in my head all day.

Here are some interesting/odd/funny text messages that are in my inbox or outbox these days. Can you tell I'm extremely excited to have something to do today? :-P Come ON, Hurricane Ike! Give me something to talk about! Jeez! Anyway, these are from several sources: Amy, Ben, Andrew, Michelle, Katie, Kate, and of course myself. And maybe some others tossed there too. Anyway. This is why I have unlimited texts.

"Is it a Swingline?"

"I love the big balls! Ga-bounce!"

"Free pjs and thongs all around, aye?"

"Well keep me posted. I'll just be here, crunching up this old shot glass."

"Ah! Allergic to formulaic fun!"

"Zotis and Bones"

"I had a friend tell me she was on Team Karen last night and I practically yelled at her: THEY STILL MAKE YOU?! Team Pam!"

"Happy birthday from Smuckers!"

"Katie is super drunk but so is mark"

"::cut to a picture of a cat eating spaghetti::"

"LOL no, Bazooka, we're eating it there like people who aren't ashamed of their Chili's addiction."

"OMG I figured it out! Republicans are doing a big Punked on the US!"

"Serious Poodler."

"Ewwww like homeless pot dealer smelly?"

"Did you hear that thing in swiss land is going to eat the world?"

"I was just thinking 'Ug birth control is $50?!' Then kid behind me randomly screams at the top of his lungs. Uh, yeah WORTH IT!"

"Um note to self do NOT shake a Starbucks double shot in a can. Contents under pressure."

What?! OMG that's hilarious. Overreaction, much? Of all the lyrics you can think of that would be offensive to Christians and human beings in general, THIS is the one you choose to attack? Oh, Ohio. Get a life. ;-)

Also I want to go home, school is WAY too long!

I went to Target today to pick up a few things and I was carrying my little basket, meandering through the aisles, and I passed this mom and her three children. The mom was talking to the older two who were walking beside her but the youngest was maybe 2 or 3 and riding in the shopping cart. I'm not kidding, all he was doing was sitting there going "BAA! BAA! BAA! BAA! BAA! BAA! BAA! BAA! BAA! BAA!" and the awesome part was that the mom and other kids were just totally cool about it, chatting away about other things while this kid imitated a sheep for no apparent reason. Confused, I texted a few people asking what they thought was up with this kid and why he was acting like that. I got some great responses but by far the best one was from my friend Christina, who teaches a resource class in an elementary school.

ME: So I'm at Target and I just passed by this kid who is saying "BAA" like a sheep over and over. Diagnosis?
CHRISTINA: KAR - Kid Ain't Right - that's our diagnosis when we observe a kid and are like WTF!

I totally LOL'd in the middle of the picture frame aisle at Target. That's a diagnosis win if I've EVER seen one.