SHUT UPPP

I'm a decisive person. I can look at most situations, find my favorite exit strategy, and act on it, usually quite quickly. I'm not always right the first time, but I rarely face a decision that is irreversible. This week, however, I was faced with a choice of utmost importance.

I was at my mom and dad's, hanging around with the dogs and waiting for my running buddy to get there, when I decided to cheat a little and have a Diet Coke. Maybe it was the Universe telling me that aspartame is bad and I should have had water instead, but I went to the garage (YEAH my parents have two refrigerators, I'm jealous), got a can out of the 'fridge door, turned to walk inside and dropped the mother effer. Noooo! It bounced around, finally coming to rest cradled against the door to the house, mocking my graceful hands. Ok, fine, I'll just get another - but wait. There was still a Diet Coke box on the shelf but - NO! - EMPTY!! I have the last one, and now it's super shaken up! So what to do: follow what I suspect to be the Universe's advice and leave the soda in the garage in favor of something else, or open it and risk getting sprayed in the face by a sticky carbonated bomb?

Of all the decisions I can make with a cool head - diffusing hostile work situations, improvising with entire classrooms of children, even the few and far between life and death choices I've made in the past - this one seriously had no clear solution. But I wanted the Diet Coke. So F you, carbonation, I'm going in! And sure enough, I wore about as much as I drank. But it was still good.