SHUT UPPP

So I was driving home yesterday and I noticed that the Eevil developers are at it again. They've already put a BK within three miles of my house and, while I haven't had BK very often in my life, I happen to think it's absolutely delicious. And also it's probably the worst possible fast food that you can eat. Anyway, right next to this Eevil BK they are building...a Shipley's donuts. With a drive-through. WTF?! I might as well warn y'all now, it's on my way to work, it's on the right side of the road, and it has easy access. I'm officially going to weigh 600 pounds. Except maybe not because my mom saved me after I sent her a whiny text message about how they're doing this to me, I'm gonna eat all the donuts, etc. Here is what my beloved mommy wrote:

SHIPLEY'S donuts are made with toe fungus and taste like cat PUKE! Avoid at all costs!

My mom is hilarious. Thanks for that, Mom! I'll think of that every time I drive by there now. :o) Love you!