SHUT UPPP

All this Earth Day talk got me to thinking: We have an "Earth Day" and a "Sunday," but we have no "Moon Day." This makes me a little bit sad, as I have always been a nighttime person and the moon and I are great buds. I get that the earth is all big and important and stuff because we live there or whatever but come on!! Up until not that long ago without the moon we couldn't even see after the sun went down, and then we played mind games with the moon in the '60s and '70s by visiting a few times and then deciding it was too far so we'd just put our own space junk in orbit and now we visit that instead. The moon totally wonders what it did wrong. Plus think about all the fun stuff you could do on Moon Day. Drink moonshine, eat moonpies, even moon your friends! That's a great way to meet your neighbors. So friends, family, and haters, I implore you: celebrate Moon Day. I think I'll declare it should fall on the next full moon, which is...yeah I don't know when I don't really pay attention. It's only fair!

Also, when you write while you're high on coffee, the word "moon" becomes incredibly amusing.

Maybe I'm your grandma, quietly knitting in the corner and chasing away errant cats that threaten the sanctity of my perfectly-wound yarn ball BUT I was in a Starbucks this afternoon and this guy...I mean, his pants were a good four inches below his butt even though he was wearing a belt (WTF?!) and his red and white candy-stripe boxers were just hanging out for all the world to see. Like...I get that layers are in or whatever but that's ridiculous. And I was just stalkery enough (and also probably illegal but...I was trying to get a pic of something legal and I just happened to...whatever you get it) to get this picture. WHAT?!

This is actually a little better than it looked when we got there, when we walked in he was looking through the little refrigerator thingy that has the water and Odwalla and stuff in it and he was pretty much mooning small children in their strollers. But seriously, what do you think of when you wake up in the morning? I'm gonna wear these jeans down to my knees because that is attractive. What?! Dear Dummy: You look ridiculous! You! Look! Ridiculous! GAH! NAW%*&HJ$@UE!1!!

K gotta go lie down before I have a heart attack.