"Where's The Clicker, 'The Wheel' Is On!"

6:23 PM Posted In Edit This 2 Comments »
Yeah apparently I'm in my 20s but I act like I'm about 85, all "Ted Mosby and the Murtaugh List" style eating dinner at 4:00 pm and chasing kids off my porch and complaining about my bad hip. Ok so that's maybe a little bit of an exaggeration, but we've got this flipping crazy gang of neighbor kids who just run around right outside our front door and patio screaming at the top of their lungs (no words, just a high-pitched and sustained "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" for no reason other than their parents got sick of them doing it inside). Today they were in the breezeway between our front door and the front door of the apt across from us, which happens to be the lair of at least three of the banshees, and they were playing with these little stilts which were kind of awesome but caused frequent falling ("AAAAAHHHH!!!!") and regular smacking into our front door/door handle, which was driving the dog crazy. Finally, I looked at the dog and excitedly asked "Rygel, what was that?!" which automatically sends him into an excited barking fury.

An excited barking fit and an angry barking fit sound the same to kids outside your front door, though, which was what I was counting on, because the second Rygel started barking I heard the "AAAAAHHHHH!!!!" from outside the door. Rygel scared 'em but good. The "AAAAAHHHHH!!!!" started in the breezeway, migrated around the corner to the porch, and then faded off into the distance in the direction of the pool. That's right, you noisy whippersnappers, GET OFF MY LAWN!

Reason #134 that D and I are not parents yet: We think our dog is so much cooler than most people's kids.

No, but really, they're super sweet kids and even when they're at their loudest I suck up to them because I'm pretty sure they're starting a small army that is going to revolt with their Nerf darts and cap guns. And, like a real old person, I'm actually afraid of youths. And Rygel's cooler.


A Beautiful Mind said...

Ha! I love this, Mere! My husband and I live across the street from a middle school and next to a park with a soccer field, baseball field, basketball court, tennis courts, and playground. As it gets warmer it gets busier and louder and the high school kids hang out on the swings at all hours of the night. I feel old just like you do. Thanks for making me feel less alone.

Al said...

you need to tape the dog barking then just play it when they start AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhing!! no need to get the poor dogs hopes up lol
but i completely agree, small children and screaming is not cool.
my neighbours have a new born AND a toddler.... the new born cries all night then the toddler wakes up about 6am SCREAMING mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy and i swear they just ignore it and its all well and good they can sleep through it but i cant!!!! grr ppl with kids suck.