SHUT UPPP

I don't know exactly what happened, either I asked for too much time off (totally a possibility) or they didn't have hours for me this week so they held off scheduling me until Saturday, but I ended up with a glorious two weeks off instead of just one for vacation. Before you get happy for me, let me remind you: I do not get paid vacation. I have this job that is honestly worse than most. I've had some horrible ones in my day (spent a summer in high school working at the local Putt-Putt, mind you!) and I've been in the workforce since I was fourteen so saying that I, at 25, have a freaking terrible job, that's something. Plus I've tried to quit this job like four times now. I actually succeeded once, for about three months, until a manager called me and asked me to come back. Turns out I'm really good at this job. But I hate it and it's toxic and soul-crushing.

Uh, anyway. I've had this week off since we've been back from vacation and at some point I clicked on the Craigslist classifieds, just to see what's there. Turns out the answer is a lot of stuff! And while I'm not the most qualified, I know I'd be awesome at a lot of these jobs! Administrative assistant? I rock at typing and answering phones! Preschool teacher? Those are the only kids I don't hate! (Ok, that's not entirely true for a lot of reasons but let's don't get in to detail here!) I've been waiting to go into this career that will save the world but in reality all I really want to do is answer phones. Is that so bad? Am I rejecting feminism and all that so many have stood for if I say that I just want to be a stay-at-home mom and maybe make a few extra bucks for my family if I can? Are those lowly aspirations? Is that why I've resisted and fought tooth-and-claw to not finish my degree? Self examination is not always comfortable.

I know that D and I don't have kids right now, so the stay-at-home mom thing is out, but I do know that eventually that is what I want. At least until our kids are in school. Why build a career that I'm eventually going to leave anyway? And why does that career have to be in environmental management, or teaching, or social work? Why can't I just happily answer phones for eight hours a day and be happy? Oooh or if the stars aligned just right, writing? Ugh. At this point, I know that anything would be better than the job I have right now. Even my friends hate my job. I get no respect (Hey Rodney Dangerfield!) from my superiors, most of my customers, or half of my coworkers, and while I enjoy the job some of the time, most of the time it's exhausting. Wow this blog SUCKS. I'm so depressed right now, I'm going to go drink a Dr. Pepper. Anyway - what to do? I guess step one: open resume, click "send".

Oh PS I hope everybody caught the new ep of The Office. It was awesome. I don't want to spoil it for anybody but Andy + Prius + Dwight = LOL'd 'til I almost fell off the couch.