SHUT UPPP

This is a true story but the names have been deleted to protect the...well, it's only maybe a crime and it was totally by accident. ANYWAY. So, someone's cat named Avalanche (who is notorious for leaving pieces of animals as "presents" for his people) dropped off a delightful dead squirrel on the front porch recently. Thoughtful! Anyway, this person did not want to throw the squirrel away in the regular trash can because it would rot so he put it in a trash bag and dropped it in the back of his truck because apparently he's an expert at body disposal. Unfortunately, he forgot about the squirrel and subsequently drove his truck through a car wash. Squirrels don't weigh very much and trash bags act like parachutes (or sails!), and, adhering to the laws of physics, the bag and contents were whisked out of the truck and onto the floor of the car wash. Whoops. The driver didn't notice until he had pulled the truck out of the car wash and looked in his rearview mirror, just in time to see the next car in line roll over it. So yeah, somewhere in Austin there's a car wash with a trash bag with a run-over, half-eaten dead squirrel in a bag blocking its drain. That's nuts!