SHUT UPPP

I have discovered that I can access the pool/clubhouse area WiFi from my bedroom late at night if I’m very still. Suck on that, Time Warner! But I still need internet of my own so please still come out ASAP to help me. And you have my digital cable. My precious, precious digital cable. Also, I’m still paying you.

Right so if you know me, you know how very much I detest moving (Bonus points if you’ve ever actually moved with me before, double bonus points if you were there that time I broke my nose while moving.). You also probably know how unlikely I am to have survived an 8:00 am class or to actually have any intention to SHOW UP to my eight o’clock on the last class day. And because my life is a series of Perfect Storms, last week moving and my very last 8:00 am class period fell not only on the same week but the same damn day. And when I say damn I mean like, damn. But I’m nothing if not resilient, so there I was, desperately scrubbing carpet and vacuuming at like 1:30 Thursday morning (Sorry, old neighbors!), getting our old apt in good shape for handing over our keys the next morning, knowing that I would have to get up and make that long drive to San Marcos in a few short hours. Dale, bless his sweet heart, told me to go to bed at 2:00 while he stayed behind (keep in mind, we’ve only just moved across the apartment complex) and finished the last bits of things that were left to do. So when the alarm went off at 5:15 I was annoyed. I then stumbled around our cluttered, disheveled mess of an apartment (…moving…) for the next half hour getting everything together for school and work, which was difficult considering half of it was still in boxes. I finally got to the car but then had to return to the apartment because I’d forgotten a book I needed for my last in-class assignment for geography. Then I stopped at the gas station but couldn’t fill up because I didn’t have my purse. Yep, I’d carried it back inside the apartment when I went to get the book. LAME! So, back to the apt, back to the gas station, finally on the road. Finally on 183 annnnd…WRECK. Crap! I hate it when I’m, like, already late, and then something happens to make me LATER. Like if I’d remembered the stupid geo book then all that other stuff would have gone fine and I wouldn’t have gotten stuck. But no, WRECK. Whatever, I figure I’ll just get there whenever I stupid get there. Also, at some point during this trek Kate called me to relay some of the most entertaining information you’ve ever heard in your LIFE (which you haven’t heard unless you work with me (sorry Kate!) or have talked to Kate so…sucks for you) and somehow that just made my whole morning not suck, not even a little bit. I mean it – I was stuck in traffic and late and felt dumb and it didn’t matter. One day you will read Kate’s best-selling novel and you too will learn how AWESOME that stupid story is.

Oh, and the crowning glory of my morning was after I paid to park in the garage because I was late and then booked it across campus (Re-open the Quad bus stop already!) I walked in to my 8:00 class (now the new-and-improved 8:20 condensed version) and was very confused to find the professor standing there alone. Yep. CANCELLED! WTF. It’s cool though because I still got to sign the roll with the other two habitually late latesters, and got my paper back, on which I would have made an A but I lost three points for my three margins that apparently didn’t measure exactly 1 inch all around so it got knocked down to a B. Geeky.

But yes. The Perfect Storm strikes again, this time in moving/last class day fashion. They’re getting tricky. And whatever.

One of the best things about being sick at home is that you get to lay on the couch and watch daytime TV all day. When I visit my grandparents during the week I am treated to endless hours of sitting with my Papa watching "his judges" which is the parade of Judges Judy, Joe Brown, and Alex along with Divorce Court and whatever else. My grandma is in charge of the remote, she knows exactly when each "judge show" is on each channel, and she adjusts them accordingly. It's an awesome system that a couple can only achieve after sixty years of marriage.

I, however, get to watch the judges during my lunch break (or...you, know, my one o'clock break or my sitting down break or whatever) in the break room at work, so on my sick day I'm not interested. Instead, I have discovered that the Spike channel is gracious enough to show, like, five hourlong episodes of "World's Most Amazing Videos" today. It's 12:39 and since at least 10:00 am today I've been parked on the couch, the dog distracted by a giant chewy bone somewhere near my feet, and at this particular moment I am being treated to a video of a theater fire in Russia. There's dancing, an audience stampede, someone who can't work the fire extinguisher, a performer ripping down a flaming curtain, it is all very exciting. I love "World's Most Amazing Videos." And today there's no end in sight! Best sick-day TV ever.

Ok, gotta go, skydiver hanging from a plane and the plane's running out of gas. Amazing!

Blar

As I am writing this my body has become the host to some horrid, creepy little microcreature that has taken up residence somewhere in my bloodstream. I have no idea where I picked it up (either from those crazy people at my one job or those nutty kids at my other) or how long it's planning to stick around, but I feel cruddy, I've been through my quota of Kleenex for the next year, I've coughed up more stuff than the cat, and the back of my throat is currently decorated with these interesting red and white blotches. It might be the plague.

Ok, so it's not the plague. And it's not strep - I went to the doctor (That's THREE TIMES this year. Three! And last year I only went once and it was just a check up! It's only April, jeez.) it's some virus that I don't know how to pronounce and basically it makes you feel crappy for like five days and then life goes on. And there's nothing the doctor could really give me to make it go away, she said she can just prescribe something for the pain. But on the upside: Vicodin!

But on the other downside (yes, this is, like, a pyramid or something) this has been going on since Sunday and my term paper for Modern Korea is due tomorrow (Thursday). Guess how much of the actual writing I had done on Sunday when I started feeling gross? If you said more than 20% you're off by at least 20%! So yeah, pretty much the past three days of my life have been spent alternating between frantically writing my paper while in pretty bad shape and very interesting time spent under the influence of codeine. Fabulous.

So the paper's done, although I didn't really read the whole thing over so I don't know how coherent it is, and all I want to do is sleep but I kind of can't and I have to get up tomorrow morning to drive to San Marcos and hand it in at 8:00. Shenanigans.

Germy, Virusy Kisses.

There's a lot that is annoying about my morning commute. I have to get up and drive in the dark, gas is expensive, the big trucks go too fast, and let's face it no matter how much I like school, knowing that I'm driving sixty-something miles just go to sit in an 8:00 am class doesn't exactly make my morning exciting. Maybe the most annoying thing, though, is whatever happens on the bus ride from the stadium to campus. It's only about a ten minute ride but just about every morning somebody manages to do something that just makes me go "Ugh." Here are some examples, the first four of which I witnessed this morning:

- When there is a big herd of people waiting for the bus, and then the bus pulls up, and for some reason about 4 or 5 people from the back of the herd can't stand waiting at the back of the herd and decide to push the rest of the herd aside so they can be at the front of the herd and then they'll get on the (empty) bus before the rest of the herd.

- When there is one empty seat by itself on the long bench of seats that is at the front of the bus, and then That Girl (sometimes it's a That Guy but it's almost ALWAYS a That Girl) who doesn't realize or maybe doesn't want to admit that her hiney is just a wee bit too large to fit in that seat tries to sit down anyway, effectively squishing the two people she is sitting next to/upon. This is less annoying and more entertaining when viewed from the opposite side of the bus.

- When the other kind of That Girl gets on the bus, realizes it's full, and then there's this awesome series of moments when she is outraged (remembering it's not 1958 and that no guys are going to vacate their seats for her because she is perfectly capable of standing on her own), then annoyed (because she now has to stand) then confused (because how can she stand and text at the same time?) then scared (because now the bus is moving and you pretty much can't stand and text at the same time). And I giggle.

- Someone's cell phone rings. And rings. And rings. Annnnd....rings.... And...really? Not interested in answering it? Not even a little? Going to completely ignore it instead. Very nice. Then how 'bout you put it on silent before you get out of your car. You're going to class anyway. Gah.

- The already-full bus stops to pick some people up and the first person at the front of the small herd (who probably pushed the rest of the small herd out of the way to become said person at the front of the small herd) steps on to the bus and just stands there while the rest of the people wait for them to figure out that the people who were just next to him are now behind him and are still trying to get on the bus. This is worse when it's raining or freezing cold, but it's bad anytime.

- Really loud cell phone chatter for an extended period of time. Sorry, I don't need to know about all of your classes, or what your plans are for this weekend, or which of your friends has crabs. Really, just not interested at all.

- When the bus stops to let a few people off and one of the spots on the benches at the front becomes open and some girl who had been standing up darts in front of a BLIND GUY to snatch it.

- When people use the bus to get up/down the hill from the Quad to LBJ or vice versa (not exactly a problem now since the Quad bus stop is closed but it's on here for good measure). Sorry - if Dr. Pohl can walk up the hill so can your lazy ass.

- And finally, when the bus stops at LBJ (now the only major stop on campus for the stadium bus and therefore the place where 90% of the passengers get off) and a bunch of people jump up and try to get off the bus before as many people as they possibly can. There MIGHT be a 30 second difference between the first person off the bus and the last person off the bus. Where the hell are these people going that is so important they be there 30 whole seconds faster?

Ok, end of rant, for now anyway. Have a nice day.

I've always been a writer (sometimes fingerpainting is writing). I've always needed some form of expression, and because I can't draw or paint (other than the fingerpainting, of course, and let's face it, there is only room for a limited amount of handprint turkeys on the refrigerator) and my musical talent is suspect, I've been left to the written (typed) word. And really, my life is chock full of ridiculous - I work with brides, I've been randomly in and out of college for six years, stuff just kind of happens to me, and let's not get into the family and friends. At least not yet. Point is, I have kind of a lot going on, and lately I haven't wanted to do much about it. I feel like at the very least I should attempt to be more than just a passenger on this little speck of rock hurdling through space (TM Brock). And even if I can't be more than a passenger, maybe I can at least, like, pay more attention. Enter, the blog.

Inspiration comes in funny places. I don't remember the last time I felt compelled to chronicle anything, and I've had a big couple of years. Suddenly, awesomely, two weeks ago in a movie theater it found me. Movie night, nothing too exciting playing, Dale and I wander in to 10000 BC at the Alamo. The Circle of Awesome (TM...Shytles? Or TWoP? Not sure there.) was complete. Somehow, this film about...mammoths? And a sabertooth tiger the size of a VW bus and some giant birds, and I think there was a love story? Anyway, it sparked something. It reminded me how very very very much I adore the ridiculous. Which is beautiful because a lot of the time, that's all I have to hang on to. I have no idea if I'll ever care enough to keep up with it, or if anyone else will ever find these things remotely as amusing as I do. But there you have it- blog. Enjoy it or leave.

Kisses.